Mother’s Day Memory

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With Father’s Day just a couple of days away, and Mother’s Day lingering as a sweet memory, I can’t help but share some wonderful news.  Anybody that knows me is quite aware of my love of babies and toddlers.  I used to be surprised when friends or co-workers would say “of course, we know you love babies”!  How could they know?  Then I would recall how at work, I “ooo’d” and “aaahhh’d” over an infant in her stroller or my offer to hold a fussy baby for a friend, or babysitting for friends with four kids under 6.  

baby shoes

When my son married his sweetheart a few years ago, I promised him I would not be one of those moms who constantly asks when they will start a family.  (Secretly I was recalling the times in recent past when I teased him he could hardly remember to brush his teeth, how could he take care of a baby?)  In his defense, my son has a gift with kids.  He can make them laugh, talk, play anywhere any time.  I’ve always known he’d make a great dad.

granddad and toddler

I kept my promise – well, almost.  Just before we moved (a story for another day!), my son came to church with us where we ran into a friend.  She mentioned her granddaughter who came to spend Spring Break, then asked when I would be a granny.  So I turned to him and said “yeah, I’ve been wondering that myself”.  He looked a little perturbed with me and said he couldn’t believe I said that.

Admittedly, I shouldn’t have said it and I was feeling a bit guilty.  But it was my one and only slip, so I hoped he would overlook it.  Over the next few months the subject was not mentioned – a sigh of relief.  Mother’s Day was approaching; our move put a bit of a kink in the plans, especially since the house was still inundated with boxes.  My daughter wasn’t going to be able to meet us, but she planned to come up for a four-day weekend on Memorial Day.  We decided to meet my son and daughter-in-law halfway, go to mass together then head out to brunch.  It was a gorgeous day.  We all arrived a little early, talking in the narthex before mass began.  I felt a tickle on the back of my leg.  Suspecting it was a little one, I turned around and my daughter gave me a hug.  She had decided to come anyway, just to surprise me.

We have a family joke about Father’s Day.  One year, when my son was about 16, fathers were asked to stand for a blessing.  He looked around, started to stand up a couple of times, then sheepishly sat back down.  Of course, it elicited the expected laughter.  (He didn’t get that from me!)  I tell this story to help explain what happened next in church.

Just before the last song and processional, the priest asked for all moms to stand for a blessing.  I was sitting next to my daughter-in-law and she stood up with me.  I turned to my son, thinking he talked her into pulling an “Eric”.  He had this look on his face like: you really aren’t getting this.  Then I saw tears in my husband’s and daughter’s eyes.  It took much too long for me to realize she was pregnant!  Suddenly, I just wanted to holler – instead I clapped a quick tiny clap, squeaked and gave her a big hug!  My son was flabbergasted that it took me so long to “get it”.  When we went to brunch, he admitted the day I had asked when I was going to be a granny, they already knew about the pregnancy.

infant yawn

I am beyond overjoyed to know we will soon have another member of our family; a new, tiny, innocent, adorable baby.  In a world where many couples decide NOT to bring a new life into the world, the faith and optimism my kids are showing is powerful.  I’m  sure they don’t see it as a courageous decision, but I am so proud of them.  It is so much easier to find excuses to avoid having children.  Raising a family is hard work. But not to worry, they’ll do a terrific job.

I’ve worked hard to be a good mom, an example to my kids of what a mother should be. I know I’ve made mistakes and probably not apologized as often as necessary.  But I pray enough good things remain in their memory that they’ll become not only amazing adults but exceptional parents.

And I can’t begin to explain how excited and grateful I am to be a granny!  Now if I can just convince my husband he’s ready to be a grandfather!

boy and dog

Lenten Chronicles

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In my last installment, I mentioned this post would be about my discovery of Humanae Vitae (of Human Life),  Pope Paul VI’s prophetic encyclical on human life and the regulation of birth.  Written in 1968 as a response to the growing question of birth control, the pope endeavored to address this issue in the light of the teaching authority of the Church.

This should be one of the first items to read if you truly wish to learn why the Church stands by this teaching that has existed for over 2,000 years.  It is easy to read and understand; not lots of fluff, pomp and circumstance; just a concise, morally accurate account of our Church’s ethical stance on marriage, sexuality and human life.

nature marriage

Obviously the 1960′s brought about many moral and social changes, including the “sexual revolution” and “the pill”.  Some of these topics were addressed in Vatican II documents, namely Gaudium et spes (Joy and Hope), but a more specific discussion was needed to provide a definitive declaration of the Church’s position on this topic.  I was in elementary school when it was published, but I do remember through the years hearing how controversial it was and in many cases, unpopular.  What strikes me as particularly interesting about negative reactions is the fact that up until about 1930, all denominations of Christianity denounced artificial birth control.  Although a number of denominations still only approve of it  in the context of marriage (since they also teach sex outside marriage is a sin), thirty years later the Catholic Church stands alone in rejecting artificial birth control.

After reading it, I am even more convinced not only of the wisdom of this document, but of the prophetic outcome that has resulted from uncontrolled use of the pill.  The pope predicted that with its rampant use would come a 1) general lowering of morality, 2) marital infidelity, 3) men would begin to lack respect for women, treating them as objects for their own pleasure rather than “his respected and beloved companion.” and 4) as acceptance of contraception becomes widespread, it would become a “dangerous weapon” in the hands of governments who have no moral constraints.

I hardly think the outcome of his predictions are imperceptible to anyone.  The evidence is clear in areas such as divorce, sexually transmitted diseases, pornography, abortion, babies born of unwed mothers and restrictive family-size laws in countries that perform forced abortions and sterilizations.  Although none of these situations was unknown in 1968, who would have guessed to what degree they would increase?  But as in all of human history, we ignore the prophetic warnings and believe WE are in control!

One thing  in Pope Paul’s encyclical that I find heartening is his statement about our ability to follow the discipline required to live within marriage without contraception.  He says that although it demands continued effort…”Such discipline bestows upon family life fruits of serenity and peace; and facilitates the solution of other problems; it favors attention for one’s partner, helps both parties to drive out selfishness, the enemy of true love, and deepens their sense of responsibility.”  What marriage could not benefit from living life in this manner?

So as unpopular as this view might be, popularity is far outweighed by wisdom.  And I, for one, plan to follow this wisdom rather than believe I am in control!

old-couple-love