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…and Grace my fears relieved.

The two followers of John heard him and followed Jesus.  Jesus turned around and saw the two following him. “What are you looking for?” Jesus asked them.  John 1:37-38

This Sunday’s Gospel always catches my heart.  Earlier on in our marriage, my husband and I were experiencing some difficulties.  We had just welcomed our daughter into the world.  She was so beautiful and we both knew she shined with the light of Christ.  My joy was bittersweet.  I loved my time with the kids; with all my being I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.  Circumstances prevented that desire.  With my dream locked away, days at work filled with guilt.  The ache was almost more than I could bear and the chasm between my husband and I continued to grow.  One day on my way to work, U2′s song “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” started to play on the radio.  I sat in the parking lot sobbing, unable to go into the office.  That’s exactly how I felt!  How could I fill the emptiness, remove the sadness from my life?

Honestly, I can’t name the exact day or time it occurred to me, but somewhere in our journey back to each other – back to our roots in the Church – the answer to that song, my prayer, hit me like a lightning bolt.  The reason I had felt so desperate and sad was the result of searching everywhere but the right place.  Or maybe I should say the right relationship. In the next part of the passage in John’s Gospel stated above, the two disciples asked Jesus “Where do you live?”  His reply “Come and see.”  If only I had read and understood this part of the Gospel, maybe it wouldn’t have taken me so long to find what I was looking for.

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How do you describe God? A book to expand your description….

In my quest to learn more about my faith, scripture, prayer and so on, reading has been a very important aspect of that search.  I recently read “Knowledge of the Holy” by AW Tozer and I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it!  The author’s summary for the basis of his book states:  ”what comes into your mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you” and “a low view of God is the cause of a hundred lesser evils.” Our modern concept of God seems to have been reduced to a comfortable, fatherly figure whom we can call upon to solve our problems.  We no longer think of Him as majestic or perceive His divinity, His awesome mystery, His eternal presence.

Considering the fact this book was written fifty years ago, it is obvious we Christians haven’t made much progress in our understanding of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  He is our Creator, the One who loves us beyond our wildest imagination; whose wisdom and mercy has no measure.  Why do we fail to seek Him more fully in Scripture and prayer? Tozer proposes that when we pridefully place God solely in the context of our small human comprehension, we are committing the sins of pride and idolatry.  At first, I thought that a bit harsh.  But after reading the basis for which the author builds his case, his assessment is accurate.

The book is small and at first glance you might be tempted to whip through it.  Rather than reading it with the end in mind, I suggest it become a companion to your prayer life, Scripture study, time in adoration.  Savor each chapter; read it more than once.  The richness and depth of Tozer’s explanation of God’s attributes will change how you think about and pray to God.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:9